There's No Crying in Your Beer

Welcome back to The Sports Ace, where our Hall of Fame, ring-wearing quarterbacks are welcomed into the locker room with open arms.

Is there any place in the sporting world right now more miserable than Wisconsin? Let us consider the evidence:
--The Brewers, who were supposed to be in a tight playoff race with the arch-rival Cubs, got completely waxed in a four-game series at home against said Cubbies. I think they'll make a run at the playoffs, through the wild card, but for all intents and purposes, the NL Central race is over.
--Brett Favre. It's already bad for the loyal fans of the Cheese that they have to watch their legendary quarterback forced to the sidelines by the very team some of them own. Now, they also may see that legend jump ship and play for the arch-rival Vikings...because Brett wants to play in Minnesota more than he wants to return to Green Bay. Wow, I never saw that one coming. The only thing worse for packer fans: the eventual certainty of Favre throwing at least 3 TD passes on Opening Night (formerly Jersey Retirement Night) in Lambeau, beating them again in Minnesota and leading the Vikes to the Big Game. I'm not saying any of this is a certainty by any means, but seriously, this Favre thing is a nightmare any way you slice it in Sconnie land.
--The Bucks? Ha. Irrelevant.
--The badgers? Still in most preseason Top 25 lists thanks to a deep running back corps, and bound to stay there for a while thanks to their softer than Bounty schedule. But this team has the most question marks of any UW squad in at least a decade, and they all begin at QB. I'm not saying it will be a terrible year for them (I sure am hoping though...), but it sure looks like the toughest road in a long time.

Viewing this as a homer sports die-hard who's endured an awful lot of heartache over the years (Gary Anderson, 41-0, Kucek's dropped punt snap, 10/10/03, Northwestern on Homecoming in 2000, T'wolves in 2004, etc.), I think that cloud might finally be moving east across the St. Croix River. We're not out of the woods here ourselves yet, but the forecast calls for sunny skies.

I'm out like Manny Ramirez.

I Think I Tore a Thumb Ligament

Seriously...if one more Twin goes on the DL because of a hand injury this year...

Sorry it's been a while. The Sports Ace has had a couple of funerals and some other personal crises to deal with.

The local nine sure are making things interesting again this year. A win tonight, and they taste first place since the early part of the season. If they can keep pitching and hitting well with RISP, I like their chances. One thing's for sure...I think the wild card's going to be out of reach, and that the Twins will have to win the division to make the playoffs.

Oh yes...T-minus one month until the Gopher football season kicks off. Ski U Mah. And less than one month until the high school football season kicks off. My preseason predictions coming soon...

I'm out like those two Penn State defensive linemen.

1-0 Losses

Welcome back to The Sports Ace, where we never lose a ballgame by a 1-0 score.

Congrats to the Burnsville Blaze, the state champions of Senior Babe Ruth baseball. Look for these achievers at a varsity level near you in the next few years.

Greg Norman couldn't quite get it done on the golf course in the British Open, but he thrilled us all anyways with the thought that he could still win a major. Let's hope he was at least able to get it done in other ways while he was on his honeymoon.

The Twins have lost FOUR 1-0 games this year. One or two is a lot, but four?? TSA's pats on the back today go to Scott Baker, who's been on the hill for three of those four 1-0 games. All three of his losses this year have been in 1-0 games...that just sucks for him. Seriously...you get him any run support at all and he's a 9-0 pitcher. Plus, the Twins would be in the race for homefield advantage throughout, not 1/2 game behind the White Sox in the division. Ugh.

Also, the Twins are at the Yankees for three games starting tonight. Will they have that east coast bias at play, as I've talked about before? Who knows. I'll personally be watching for a few of my buddies who will be in the House that Ruth Built tonight to personally witness the action. If you see three crazies with Circle Me Bert signs, chances are it's them.

I'm out like John Daly.

To Favre, or Not to Favre

Seriously, I'm as burnt out as anyone on this whole Favre thing, and I hope people can find something else to talk about soon. And Brett, let it go.

But I heard a rumor yesterday that made me think fresh thoughts about the whole scenario: Brett Favre WANTS to be a VIKING. It may sound crazy, but you know, it really isn't that farfetched. Darren Bevell, Vikings coordinator, is a good friend of Brett. There are some former Packers on the roster, including Darren Sharper. They play in a domed stadium, and the closest thing the Vikes have to a cold-weather game this year is October 19 at Chicago, so Brett would be able to play in favorable conditions pretty much all year. And the Vikes have a very real shot to win the NFC this year and get back to the Super Bowl.

At first, I thought that there's no way the Vikings would want to sack up with a player who has burned the franchise and its fans so many times. But he's a Hall of Famer coming off a great year, and he would firm up the team's QB position - really, the one glaring question mark right now on the entire team. The thought that the Vikings and Favre could be mutually interested in one another actually makes a lot of sense. As Tarvaris himself said, what team wouldn't be interested in adding Brett Favre? And as such, what fans wouldn't be excited to root for him? Of course, the Packers will keep him and eat his salary before they let him go to Minnesota. But it's an interesting twist to the story...I think it makes more sense than Tampa Bay does.

I'm out like Alex Rodriguez from the All-Star Game.

PR Pitching

I invite you to take a look at the public relations pitch at the link below:

http://executivesuite.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/14/pr-pitch-of-the-month-or-maybe-the-decade/

My guess is that anyone with half a brain will be able to see why this is a poor pitch. It's not necessarily that the PR person makes controversial connections between societal trends and issues and her client's product, although their validity certainly is debatable. It's more about the fact she could have used simpler language and edited out at least 100 words and still said the same exact thing. And this was written by a VP-level practitioner who's supposed to know how to write and how the media work. Not good at all.

In PR terms, this is a bad pitch because the reporter could read this three times and still not understand what the news is and why it's important - and the media simply don't have the time to figure it out. There's a myth in PR today that longer and "hipper" is better. But the "pros" who operate this way fail to recognize that what media truly want - and need - is a concise, relevant and unbiased news hook, with supplemental materials available upon request. This pitch clearly doesn't fit that description, and in fact works against the ultimate objective of placing a client or idea placement in the media. Said another way, it doesn't serve the best interests of the client. If I paid this person for this work, I'd demand my money back.

I'm out like Jesse Ventura.

All-Star Sigh of Relief

Rumor has it that Bud Selig himself was loosening his tie, throwing on his cleats and heading to the bullpen to warm up last night. He would have volunteered himself to be all-time pitcher to avoid what would have been a PR catastrophe for his sport.

This might be a slight exaggeration, but we should all be incredibly relieved that we didn't see or hear our favorite Bud last night until he handed the MVP trophy to J.D. Drew. He was seriously exposed last night for the latest failure of his tenure as commissioner: neglecting to come up with a contingency plan for how to resolve the All-Star Game. If only he would have learned something from the 2002 game, in which Torii Hunter robbed Barry Bonds and the game ended in a tie.

The MLB All-Star Game remains the greatest exhibition game in sports, but it needs some serious reform to avoid nightmares like what nearly happened last night. I propose two changes:

--Make the game a true exhibition again, and not the determining factor in anything important like home-field advantage in the World Series. Or at the very least, lower the stakes. Bud and his clan gave the game this weight a few years back to encourage the mega-stars not to skip it for the extra time off. But just ask any manager or any NL team - it isn't working. The game isn't structured appropriately to decide such a matter - you need bigger rosters to avoid emptying benches, or at the very least you need a fair and merciful way to end it if we have a marathon like last night. Terry Francona and Clint Hurdle did a helluva job last night, considering the circumstances.

--Regardless of what you do with the implications of the game, come up with a way to end the game in true exhibition style, if necessary. I propose that if the game is tied after x number of innings (maybe 11, to give the players time to try to decide it on the field) that there be a All-Star Game Home Run Derby. Each team sends five players to the plate, and they each get just one out. Their own pitchers - or coaches - throw to them. The league whose team hits the most HRs wins. Wow, what an ending that would be...fans might root every season for a tie. There would be a clear winner at the end of the night, sort of like there is now in the NHL. Plus, the game would be decided in a showy style, bringing in elements of drama, power and grandeur.

The health/safety of the players and the integrity of the sport are the two most important things to consider and preserve in making any changes. It's my opinion these two ideas maximize both. If a couple of stars choose not to participate, well, it's their loss, public reputation and ultimately earning power on the line. I think the vast majority of players will still consider it a great honor to play in this great game.

I'm out like Billy Packer.

Nightmares of Fenway

If you're a good Twins fan like me, you hated to see the team get swept in Boston. They played all right the first two nights, yet lost both games by one run. Of course, then they got blown out.

You know, I hate to say it, but it seems like our Twins have an East Coast bias of their own. You know how the media (ESPN especially) seem to give the Yankees and Red Sox more air time, coverage, analysis, etc...well, that all would lead an impartial observer to believe that those teams are better or more important than the others. And I think the Twins are picking up on that to some extent. Every once in a while, you catch a glimpse that they might seem to be intimidated by the big-market teams, especially in their home stadiums. Now granted, the Red Sox are just plain lights out at Fenway this year, and the Yanks seem to be improving as they always do this time of year. But I worry that our team gets psyched out a little bit, and that the deck is slightly stacked against the Twins before the first pitch is even thrown. It's just a perception of mine...

But wow, what a game and comeback today. The bullpen righted the ship, and Morneau had a career day, capped off by the game-winning homer in the 11th.

Finally, the Lynx continued their collapse, falling under .500 last night by blowing an 18-point lead at home against a previously 1-17 team. Does it get any worse than that?

I'm out like afore-mentioned Lynx.

A Dog-off, a Classic and some Domination

What a Fourth of July weekend it was...

On Coney Island, a dog-off was needed for Joey Chestnut to keep his hot dog eating title belt. You can't make this stuff up. Truly, starving children in Africa are crying their eyes out...if Nathan's wanted some good PR, why wouldn't they donate as many hot dogs as are used in the competition to some poor area halfway across the world. And only in America can a man eat 59 hot dogs in 10 minutes - one nearly every 10 seconds - and have it not be enough. Granted, it's kind of interesting to watch people eat that fast, but it is the ultimate in gluttony.

Across the pond, Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer in what may have been the greatest tennis match of all time. Here's hoping ESPN replays it in its entirety, rain delays edited out, as soon as possible. But seriously, how great was that match...

And in local sports, those Twins keep right on winning. But how about the Eden Prairie American Legion baseball team? Those kids won a major national tournament in Tennessee this week, beating a team from Tennessee in the quarters and again in the finals to polish it off. All of a sudden, after a less-than-stellar varsity baseball season, those kids from EP have figured it out again. Just win, baby.

I'm out like the Cleveland Indians.

Olympics Marketing Mania

It's not rocket science to expect that over the next two months you'll see a LOT more ads and marketing campaigns featuring Olympic athletes, especially members of the gymnastics team and track and field. The marriage between Olympic sports and business has been a long and happy one, and it only figures to grow this year and in future Olympics.

Rarely, however, do you see Olympic stars transcend their "window" of fame and become full-fledged celebrities with staying endorsement power. You could argue people like Mary Lou Retton, Nancy Kerrigan and Brandi Chastain were able to make the jump, but it doesn't happen often...it takes a certain level of accomplishment, luck, charisma and intangibles to make someone a good marketing investment over the long haul. Of all the athletes that will head to Beijing next month, I believe the strongest candidate to transcend his window will be none other than swimmer Michael Phelps.

Let's consider the assets. All the experts believe he will win enough gold medals in Beijing to make him the single most decorated Olympic athlete ever, making him the bar-setter for excellence - a great brand builder for any company. He's young and successful (23 years old), making him attractive to the groups with quite possibly the most available spending money: millennials, teens and tweens. Yet he's extremely eloquent and well educated and (let's face it) carries enough sex appeal to appeal to women and older demographics. He's humble, crediting his mother, training partners and everyone else around him for his success - that adds to his "likeability factor." Plus, he's not done after the 2008 Games; the experts also believe he'll make another run to participate in the 2012 Games in London, even if he doesn't qualify in as many events. That means that any company willing to strike a deal with him now would position itself for success in another four years, when Michael Mania is in full swing again. It would behoove them to invest in him over the middle years to build his profile in anticipation of 2012, most notably at any number of international competitions on the schedule that will make him relevant on the sports scene and give him a platform to represent a company and its interests.

Best Buy, Apple and Visa, take note. Michael Phelps is available, but likely not for long.

Scott Ullger is no Ron Gardenhire

I can't blame Gardy for doing what he did last night, going after the ump for a poor warning decision and sticking up for Mauer. What bothers me is the way his back-up manager navigates the late innings.

Let's look at last night, for example (there have been other suspect games in past years). Glen Perkins is rolling along in the 7th, and gave up a harmless single with one out. Ullger gets out the quick hook, pulling Perkins for Crain. Reyes and Guerrier also come in - in the seventh inning - to face hitters. Breslow and Bass also pitch in the ninth. If you're counting, that's five relief pitchers used to get eight outs...with four runs (three earned) given up in that span.

Now, this argument is slightly irrelevant because of the recent lights-out nature of the Twins bullpen. You wouldn't think they would all suck like last night. But when your starter is rolling along, why don't you let him go a while? I didn't see anything to suggest Perkins was starting to tank. Don't go to your bullpen just because it's there...go to it when you need to.

Plus, I know matchups are important, but I've never been a fan of using that many pitchers in that short a span. They're just getting going, especially after so many days off. Maybe they'd do better if they got more than one hitter. Who knows.

Gardy can have a quick hook with starters sometimes, but I think he manages his bullpen well - and he's improved since his early years. Personally, I think Scotty has more learning to do...and that his quick decisions last night might have contributed to the loss in some small way.

I'm out like Interlachen Country Club.